


The Love Life of Those Two Idiots (as told to Natasha Romanov by Clint Barton and Phil Coulson at random intervals and from unreliable email accounts)

by forthosebelow



Series: Love Lives and Chain Messages [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emails, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2990765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forthosebelow/pseuds/forthosebelow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint likes to think that Natasha and Phil care as much about Tony and Bruce's assumed relationship as he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I purposefully did not use spell check when Clint is the one talking. I do not believe anything is too terribly misspelled or miss-punctuated to be readable but if it is, please let me know so that I can fix it. Thank you.

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: arrowsandpinstripes@shield.gov  
Subject: i hate everyone

hi. this is clint. i forgot the password to my last account and i wish that I had a better excuse. so this is my new one. bruce is a giant dumbass and tony is actually a larger one. at least bruce can tell that he has feelings, like chest region feelings for tony. i think he can tell but maybe he cant. who knows.  
tony is just… hes stupid. really really stupid. and I can say these things because I am his friend. and as his friend and bruces too they just need to get together. get it over with.   
hope youre doing ok. Have fun in where ever the hell you are  
Love ya


	2. Chapter 2

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: pinstripesandarrows@shield.gov  
Subject: 

Hello Natasha, I do hope you are doing well. This is Phil, by the way. Clint and I are on a mission (I cannot tell you where) and he was trying to set up a new email account because, apparently, he forgot the password to his last one. He had wanted to tell you about a development in the relationship between Tony and Bruce. Tony basically begged Bruce to stay at the tower. I do believe he told me more but there were a lot of hand gestures and I lost track of the conversation.  
I know you will laugh at me for that and call me a silly little boy. I am perfectly aware of my feelings for him. I’m just not sure if he’s aware or if he’s just thinking that we’re friends, who hold hands. That argument sounds very week. But what do you want me to do? This isn’t a movie.  
The reason I am sending you this message and not Clint is because Clint is injured. Nothing too serious but he might need to spend a few week resting. This is where I inform you that you are the one who will be making sure that he stays resting. He’s sleep for now and not whining. If it keeps snowing like it is now though, I’ll have to be the one to keep him in bed. And don’t you dare make an innuendo out of that.   
I will be deleting this email after I send it.   
-Phil Coulson


	3. Chapter 3

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: cb<3pc@shield.gov  
Subject: stop cackling

Hopefully i dont pass out this time and phil wont send emails from my account because that would be embarrising. yeas this is childish. next ill carve our initials into a tree. And how do you always know these random email accounts are me? its very brave to open emails from random accounts. they could be spam or dick pics.   
I caught tony checkin out my ass. that was weird. i didnt mind but it was wierd. its not like anyone else is looking at it. what a waste of my fine ass. but maybe it proves that tonys into guys and now him and brucell get together. finally. toodle loo  
-Clint fine ass Barton


	4. Chapter 4

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: cb<3pc@shield.gov  
Subject: can you believe i remembered my password!?

While you were away on your mission literally the most the exciting thing happened. Phil and i (sigh) were staying at the tower (only one floor apart) when tony decided it was time for "family dinner night". it was jank. like worst family dinner ever and you know what my family dinners used to be like. then at the end of the disastrous meal, tony stood up (what an asshole) and said, and this what he actually said "i am bisexual" and then burst out laughing. that news footage of him saying he was iron man? he used the same voice and the same infliction. it was horribly genius and i wish i had thought of it. then mother fucking steve nodded and mumbled to himself "me too". i was sitting next him and im pretty sure im the only one who heard i think.   
but bruces face! it went all pink and splotchy. poor baby. but other than that there was no real reaction. phil tried to be a dad about it and smoothly say "well we love and accept you despite and because of who you are" but it was just awkward.   
thank ever god you ever had to study that you werent there  
-one of now four out and proud bisexual members of the avengers (im not counting coulson)


	5. Chapter 5

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: godd*amnitall@shield.gov  
Subject: wtf

Did you know you arent allowed to put curse words in your email address? Parently shield has a fucking child safety feature or something.  
I know for a fact that its your fault we are all about to go on the ellen show and publicly accept tonys gayness. He can say its pepper all he wants but I know it was you. good luck trying to hide your gay on the show.  
What if she asks us if we are? Do I say yes? Do I lie? Im many things but I aint a liar. Anyways come over and help me pick an outfit please. Trying to go for cool lumberjack  
Totally gay Clint


	6. Chapter 6

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: lolaisthebomb@shield.gov  
subject: dates all around

so guess what? burce came by my room at the tower. (how cool is that we live at "the tower") and was all like "tony likes boys and now im super conflicted" it was adrorable. like what a cutie pie. and then he was like "i wanna take him on like a real date" and i was like "no way i totally called that" but that was in my head. and then bruce started talking about his plans and i started to melt just a tiny bit. like oh my god so cute  
and speaking of dates, phil took me on one. we went to dinner and then walked around the park and took a ride in lola and it was lovely. and then he kissed me  
okay bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so do you guys have any ideas for an email address for Clint? I would be eternally grateful and amused to hear them


	7. Chapter 7

To: natashabites@shield.gov  
From: arrows>guns@shield.gov  
Subject: i will murder them slowly with my love

so phil comes to take me on our second date where he pays like an utter gentleman and then suddenly we have tail. someones following us. like what the hell. but its just tony and bruce and like theyre not even trying. but then bruce starts lecturing tony and its like omg bruce this is not how i told you to aks tony out. and tony has the stupidiest look on his face. he's so shocked that bruce has thought of the words date and tony in the same sentence. then phil like a bamf tells them go home like he found them making out under the bleachers or something. then he suggests that we do the same. and my insides are all quivery at this point. and i just nod and let him lead me home like somekind of dog. and it was magical tasha. magical. i will save you the graphic details. because i love you.  
-clint "im defiantly not a virgin anymore" barton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so Clint's email address was courtesy of thecookiemomma. Thank you so much!

**Author's Note:**

> So I would really like to think that this story will be updated in a timely manner but I know myself. It will be updated I just don't know when. Thank you guys so much for the encouragement!


End file.
